Breaking Point

Forewarn: This next section was rewritten so it doesn't transition smoothly from the last post and might seem like my writing style shifted a bit. It did. Hope you like the change.
*********
Amy stared up at the ceiling of her room, stretched out under the covers. It wasn’t the most interesting ceiling she had ever seen; it was nowhere near the funny posters the dentist put up on his ceiling and only half as interesting as the ceiling in some of her classes, but she still stared at the bland white spackled ceiling. The alarm clock on her bedside had gone off a few times now, each time receiving a hit from her and earning her just ten minutes more.

Ten minutes more. She wished the world would grant her that.

Or maybe just to skip this day all together. That would be good. In fact, that would be excellent. Anything would be better than having to deal with the real world this day. Sighing, she closed her eyes, trying to push the thoughts out of her head. She had to do this. Jay had given her no choice in the matter; even after making things up with him, she still argued about going through with this race. No matter what she tried to tell him, arguing about studying for classes, or that she wasn’t feeling well, or that she and Maxx needed to at least take one Race off, he wouldn’t put up with it. He even brought up her contract, citing that she had promised that her classes would not interfere with the Races and that she was a Speeder. She didn’t get sick like the rest of them. And Maxx was fine. Hacker made sure of that.

But his most adamant point was that she needed to be seen at this race.

Groaning, she rolled onto her side, gripping her pillow in a death grip. No. She couldn’t do this. Jay had to know that. She couldn’t do this race.

Unbidden came the powerful memory of sitting in front of the television, watching her dad race, fighting to win the right to return home, only to blow apart in front of millions.

“They picked this type of race to physic you out,” Jay had pointed out to her. “You’ve got to show these people that you won’t be pushed around by their games. You’ve got to rise above it and shove in their faces that they cannot own you.”

“Easy for him to say,” she muttered under her breath, willing her face into her pillow. Maybe if she didn’t get up, they wouldn’t make her race. It was a tempting idea, and one she wished she could carry out, but it wasn’t going to happen. As much as she would hate to admit it, Jay was right. If she was going to show the Sponsors that they couldn’t scare her off, then she had to race today.

Water jet skies weren’t too terrible to handle. She had been on a few during her high school days before anyone knew about her Talent and she handled those just fine… but this was different. Although she knew that Maxx was her program now, through and through, she couldn’t help but worry that the Sponsors would try to knock her off during this Race. Poetic irony, father and daughter dying during the same type of race, doomed to never achieve their goals of living outside the Circuit. She shuttered. It was a stunt that she knew the news media would eat up. They would be all over it, trying to get the dig in every little detail of her and her father’s lives, digging into mom’s life…. Hacker would be under suspicion, Sally would be a mess, Jay…

She didn’t even want to think about her annoying Sponsor and the crush she suspected he had on her.

All in all, she just wished that Jay would let her skip this race. She had enough points. All she had to do was win one more race to get into the Race Circuit Final. It wouldn’t be that hard. She had risen so far in the little time she had been in the Circuit that would be a surprise if she didn’t get into the Final.

But Jay’s argument whirled in her head. She had to show the Sponsors that they didn’t own her…. They didn’t own her… They didn’t own her…

But they did….

Amy sobbed, curling into a ball in her bed. That was perhaps the worst thing about this. Race or not, the Circuit still owned her. She lived in the RCC, Maxx was technically their property implanted in her head, all her income came from them… Even her college tuition came from them. If the Sponsors decided that it was too much to send her to school, they could make her drop without getting her say in it.

It was the worst.

That’s it, she thought, burrowing under her covers, I am not getting up.

Once she had turned her alarm off, she settled deep in her bed, hoping that everyone would just stay clear of her and her bout of self-pity.

That was dashed about five minutes later when there was a knock at her door.

“Go away!” she yelled, turning so her back was to the door. “I’m not feeling well!”

“Aims,” said a stern voice, one that she knew well enough to answer. However, she couldn’t bring herself to answer Jay. She didn’t want to do this. He knew that. Why was he making this such an issue for her?

She heard the door open then close softly, though she still refused to turn around. There was no way that Jay was getting her out of bed. They would need a herd of rhinos to drag her out of bed.

“Amy?” Jay said softly, coming to her side and sitting on the foot of her bed. “You alright? It’s time to get ready for the race.”

“I’m not going,” she said stubbornly.

He sighed, a sound that was more exasperated than annoyed. “We’ve been over this,” he said, patting her foot. She quickly moved it out of the way, not wanting to be touched. “You need to show a strong front, prove to the Sponsors…”

“Prove what?” Amy snapped, turning her head enough to glare at him over her hunched shoulders. “They already own me. I’m little more than an entertainment slave in their eyes… A gladiator in the form of racing. What difference does it make if I show up for this race or not?”

Jay blinked at her, obviously surprised by her sudden outburst. Snorting, she turned her face back into her pillow, hoping that if she hid her face that he would go away.

“It makes all the difference,” he said softly, his tone more caring than she liked. “Yes, perhaps they control a lot of your life, but you can show them that you won’t play by their rules.”

Amy scowled. Why did he have to make sense?

“Come on,” he said, patting her foot again. “Let’s get up and go to the track. Maxx is waiting outside for us.”

“You want to go together to it?” she asked, glaring at him again. “Aren’t you supposed to be with the Sponsors?”

He shrugged. “You’re the only Racer that hasn’t checked in yet. I thought it would be wise as your Sponsor to make sure that you didn’t chicken out. No one will think of it.”

Yeah, right, she thought scowling. She thought about Camellia, about her warning about getting too close to her Sponsor. While it wasn’t uncommon for Sponsors to get involved with their Racers on a more than business level, she knew she didn’t want a part of it. Camellia was right about it. She did not want to get involved with any rumors that might suggest she and Jay had anything more than a strictly professional status.

“Fine,” she grumbled, burying her face in her pillow once more. “I’ll get up. Leave so I can change.”

Jay chuckled. “There’s my fierce Racer.” He got up and left, giving her a few more moments to hate the idea. He was right. The Sponsors might have a hold on her, a powerful hold that she couldn’t seem to break, but she didn’t have to live by their rules. She just had to show them that.

She hated it when Jay was right.
**********
Jay leaned against the wall besides Amy’s door, waiting for her to change. For what felt like the millionth time, he checked his watch, noting that they still had plenty of time to get to the track. He had a feeling that Amy might change her mind first thing in the morning of this race, that she would try everything she could to weasel out of racing, but he wouldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let that happen. If Amy truly wanted to leave the Circuit far behind her in five years, she had to prove that nothing could faze her, that the Sponsors could do nothing to change who she was.

But once again, Jay wondered just how far they could push against her before she started to break. It sobered him when he thought about it. Amy did have a braking point. He just hoped that he could help her out before she reached it.

A few minutes later, Amy stepped out of her room, wearing her Racing jumpsuit. Jay couldn’t help but eye her up and down. The suit did nothing to hide her soft curves and slim form. It didn’t hide her straight posture and confident walk. If anything, that jumpsuit showed the world who she really was; a strong powerful young woman with the drive to reach her goals.

“What?” she snapped at him, rubbing her arms as she caught him staring. He shook his head. Why did Amy have to be so beautiful? She was distracting.

“You ready?” he asked instead, focusing instead on her face. For a split second, the fear was there, along with worry. She quickly turned the emotions in, showing the world, and him, that she wasn’t happy and she didn’t care who knew.

“No,” she grumbled, trudging down the hall. “But might as well.”

Jay knew it would be better if he kept his mouth shut.

As usual, Maxx drove himself up as they left the building. For some reason, the program was not in his usual form, instead of silver sports car, he was a blue sedan that looked nothing special.

“Um,” Jay said, pointing at Maxx.

“I’m depressed,” she snapped at him, going to the driver’s side and opening the door. “Maxx is just reflecting my mood.”

“She’s been at this all morning,” Maxx said in a similar snappish mood. “Not that I blame her.” Amy slid into her car, waiting for him to do the same.

“Oh?” he asked as he got in. “I know that this race might be hard on Amy, but I didn’t think you’d pick up on it.”

Maxx snorted, still a strange sound coming from a car. “I’m a computer chip in her brain. Of course I know what she’s feeling. And I also reviewed the race that killed her dad.” Instead of a growl, the car reeved the engine. “There was no way that he should have lost that day, little alone be killed.”

“I know,” Jay said softly, glancing at Amy. “The Kill Code is what got him.”

“Enough talk,” Amy snapped, switching the gears. “Let’s just get this over with.”
*********
Amy sat on the edge of the floating platform beside Maxx, ignoring all the hubbub around her. The hanger they were in was flooded to allow the programs to change into jet skies. She didn’t acknowledge the well wishes and sneers from the other racers, focusing instead on Hacker as he checked on Maxx. It was pretty strange to not see her mechanic in his usual grubby jeans and oversized greased sweater. Instead he wore a wetsuit, goggles, and a snorkel. He had just come up from under, swam to her and jumped up to sit next to her.

“Well?” she asked, letting her feet dangle in the water. Since it was spring, she would have figured that the water would be freezing. However, it was a nice lukewarm temperature perfect for swimming. Too bad that wasn’t what she was going to do.

“Everything’s fine!” he assured her with a smile. Amy didn’t know what Sally saw in it; then again, she never knew what Sally saw in any of her previous boyfriends and wouldn’t complain that she had finally managed to pick a good one. “I’d go as far as to say that he’s in top condition.”

“Thanks to your careful care,” she said, nudging him with an elbow. “Seriously. Thank you for keeping him in great condition.”

“Doing my job,” Hacker laughed. “And it’s not too much.” He then paused, looking around nervously. Then he leaned in, his expression serious. “I like to keep my friends alive.”

Amy said nothing, only nodding stiffly.

Why did it have to be this type of race?

“Racers!” the overhead announced. “To your skies! The race is about to start!”

“Perfect,” she grumbled. Reaching over, she took her helmet and put it on. Maxx drifted to the edge of the platform to allow her to get on him without having to swim over. Around them, the other Racers were doing the same. There were fewer Racers this time, Getting this close to the Final, more and more Racers were dropping out of races, claiming that their chances of getting to the Final were over. One part of her was glad that she would be racing against more Racers.

Another part wished there were more so she could stop being the unwanted target of attention.

“Alright,” Maxx said into her ear. “Checking our sound…”

“We’re fine, Maxx,” she snapped, allowing her program to turn to life. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Just remember what Jay said to us on our way here,” Maxx said as they joined the other Racers to the starting line. “We don’t have to win this one. Just make it across the finish line.”

“I know,” she grumbled. “I just don’t want to do this.”

Wisely, Maxx didn’t answer her.

As they lined up at the starting line, Amy forced herself to think like a winner, of beating her competition, of getting out of the Circuit to resume her life. She thought of mom back home, watching the race with the same fear that had gripped her nearly thirteen years ago.

Without any warning, the memory of that day came back in an all too real sense. But instead of her father, she felt as if she were watching herself at the starting line, ready to win a race to get home… Did he feel this fear? Did he know that the Sponsors would never let him out of the Circuit, so much so that they would rather let him die than leave?

Or did all he feel was determination to finish his last race?

Her stomach felt sick, clenching in a way that made her want to puke in her helmet. What were her father’s final thoughts?

A loud beeping noise in her ear reminded her that the race was about to start. Glancing up, she watched as the lights changed.

Red.

Was he worried?

Orange.

Was he afraid and determined?

Orange.

Did he think of her and mom?

Green.

Amy’s brain nearly shut down. What was she doing out here?

“Aims!” Maxx snapped at her returning her to the present. Around them, the other Racers were off, leaving them in behind. Amy shook her head and let instinct take over. She couldn’t think about this. No, just drive, just race, just get out of here as quickly as possible. Her mess of thoughts did nothing to help her, so she let her brain go numb, letting just the moment envelop her. The wind whistling past her helmet, the water spraying up onto them, soaking them, the rush as they started passing other Racers. All that matter was getting to the finish line. Get there and this would be over. Win this race and she could go home.

The commentator’s remarks were lost to her ears as she weaved in and out of the other Racers, leaving the end of the pack and moving swiftly through the middle. It didn’t matter what he was saying. Once she was done with this race, she was going far away where no one would come after her.

She was going to kill anyone who did.

“Amy!” Maxx shouted at her. “Listen to me! We don’t have to win this race! Calm down!”

Didn’t have to win? Ha! Win and they could go home. Back to where she really belonged, at the house with mom, curled up on the couch watching some old movie her mom enjoyed. They’d eat popcorn and candy, laughing at the movie, glad to be together. The warmth, the love… She longed to be back there, instead of here. Anything was better than here.

“Amy!”

“No Maxx,” she breathed, blinking away the tears that threatened to overcome her. The finish line was coming up and they were starting to enter the leading pack, only a handful of Racers ahead of them. “We’re going to get out of this. We have to.”

She had to. They weren’t going to take her life. Not without a fight. They were going to regret letting her in the Circuit. They were going to regret…

BANG!

The noise came from behind. Reality came crashing down as she turned around.

It was the same scene again. Black churning smoke bellowing upwards. Fire spreading across the oil slick water. Debris floating in a mockingly peaceful way. Officials rushing in to find what they could.

Dad.

She and Maxx crossed the finish line with her gaze fixed on the crash behind them. Maxx slowed down of his own accord. She was no longer able to control him. She couldn’t even control her own thoughts as she stared at the crash. No, this couldn’t be happening…

“Aims!” It was a cheerful voice, one associated with telling Racers good news. But there was no good news. A Racer could have, most probably have, died in that crash.

“No,” she whispered. “I can’t do this.” She spun Maxx around, sending him racing back to land. “Maxx! Motorcycle!” He changed beneath her as they jumped from the water to land. They touched down, driving off as people tried to call after them. She didn’t care what they thought. She finished the race. That was all that mattered. She was done playing their polite games, where she would smile about advancing, where she would lie and say that the race was easy.

She was done and needed to get away.

Let them do what they wanted. She was done.
**********
Jay would never admit it to anyone else, but this race nearly had him jumping out of the Sponsor box and rushing to Amy’s side. Not that he could get to her side. She was a Speeder. There was no chance he had of catching her. But that didn’t stop his own feelings from kicking in. He had promised to protect her, to keep her alive to survive the Circuit so she could go home.

But there was little that he could do to help her while she was out there on the water. His place was here, among the other Sponsors, hoping that he could do something with them to keep Amy alive.

“Seems your Racer has some nerves,” someone chuckled as Amy gave a split second false start. Jay forced himself to shrug, as if he didn’t care either way.

“With the way she’s been winning,” he teased, hating the flavor it left in his mouth, “she can afford to loose a few races.”

That earned him a few chuckles and less teasing. Jay kept his emotions off his face as he watched the race, wishing he could tell her to slow down. She didn’t have to win this race. All she had to do was to get over the finish line. Although he had told her this, he felt that she wasn’t listening. Good thing he had Maxx to remember it. The program was likely to be in more control right now than Amy was. He would remember to not push them. All they were trying to prove was to the Sponsors that she would not play by their rules, would not let them control every aspect of her life.

“I’m surprised she’s actually racing,” his father said as they sat side by side in the Sponsor Box. “And giving it a good shot. Probably won’t win this one outright, but she’ll advance.”

“Of course she’s racing,” Jay said, brushing his father’s comment off. “She’s not one to back down.”

“Hum.”

Jay knew that tone. He had heard it a thousand times during meetings, during business, at home… His father had a trick up his sleeve.

What are you planning? Jay thought, his eyes flickering for just a moment away from the race below to his father’s calculating face.

BANG!

Jay whipped his head back to the track. For a moment, he could only stare at the crash site, numb as it always made him to see such destruction…

Amy! His thoughts wrenched back to his Racer. She was in front of that crash, right? She wasn’t there…? He let out a soft sigh of relief as he quickly spotted her colors zoom across the finish line, her name announced over the speakers. She had made it. She was safe…

He frowned as she slowed to a stop. Glancing up to the screen above the window looking on the track, he noticed that the camera was trained on her. She was twisted in her seat, looking back over her shoulder at the crash. Jay suddenly realized that she had crossed the finish line looking back.

“And Racer Aims, who’s father had died in a crash similar, doesn’t seem like she can’t stop looking,” the commentator said, his tone not amused. “I can’t imagine what might be possibly going through her mind right now.”

That’s it! Jay realized suddenly, feeling his stomach form a tight knot. This is what dad was planning! She was in this race to prove to them that she could take what they threw at her. But this…

He couldn’t even think. It was a cruel mind trick! A physiological war game that they were pitting against Amy. They had just rattled her to the very core. Yes, she had advanced, yes she was unhurt… But the Sponsors just made their point to her. Her life was theirs and they could take it at any time. Perhaps not in the same race that killed her dad, but they could do it.

To kill other Racers in this race just proved that she wasn’t safe.

“And Racer Aims is out of the water and speeding off.”

Jay shook his head and turned his attention back below. Perhaps it shouldn’t be a surprise that Amy took off, using her signature program change to escape the track.

“Oh, no,” one of the Sponsors chuckled. “Seems to me that you’ve got a rouge Racer on your hands, Jay.”

“Seems so,” Jay said, forcing the smile on his face. “I should probably get after her. Excuse me.” He stood and made his way purposefully out of the box. However, once he was far enough away, his father caught his arm.

“Dad?” he asked, turning enough to see his father scowl.

“Stay away from Racer Aims,” his father warned.

“Uh,” Jay said, frowning. “How am I supposed to stay away from my own Racer?”

Ford scowled, his eyes boring into him. Jay held eye contact though. He wasn’t going to loose to his father. He was taught better than that by the selfsame man.

“Don’t get close to her,” his father sneered. “I know what you’ve been doing. Taking her out to clubs, picking her up for races and after class. Do yourself a favor, boy, and stay away from her.”

It was Jay’s turn to scowl. “Why would you care about who I’m close to?”

“For the love of…” Ford growled, finally letting go of his arm. “I’m trying to protect you, boy! That girl is an attention magnet and will draw others to her. The more people close to her, the more people close to you. It would only be a matter of time before someone noticed that you’re different.”

Jay stiffened. His Talent. A curse that both he and his father kept hidden. Oath Makers weren’t as widely accepted as other Talented. He once again thought of his mother, how she was an Oath Maker and her sudden death when he was only seven. Car crash, his father had said. He didn’t believe it. An Oath Maker was too much trouble to keep around. If the other Sponsors suspected it, his father would most likely been killed too.

And they’d murder him.

In that moment, Jay was torn. He wanted to go after Amy, wanted to give her the comfort she needed that he didn’t want anyone else to provide. However… He had spent most of his life keeping his Talent a secret, knowing what would happen if business men found out about his ‘unuseful’ Talent. Heck, he even kept the secret of other Talented, others who didn’t want anyone to know of their Talents for the fear of being discovered, dragged off, and hurt. It was a story he knew all too well.

They’re killing Talented, he had to remind himself, looking at his father’s concerned face. He’s part of it. The only reason he’s protecting you is because you’re his son. He doesn’t want anything to happen to you.

It felt as if his chest was being crushed. He wanted to protect Amy, he wanted to be there for her, but it was at the stake of his own safety. If those men in the Sponsor box found out about his Talent, he knew he wouldn’t live to see the next week.

His father must have seen the emotions rippling across his expression. His scowl deepened, his brown eyes narrowing. “Jason,” he said in a dropped whisper. “I’ll make you promise to stay away from her.”

Jay took in a small gasp through his nose. No. Not that. Anything but that! If he vowed to stay away from Amy, then how was he supposed to protect her? How was he supposed to keep his promise to her? He knew what it was like to be trapped between two vows that forced him to do the opposite of each other. It was painful, as if his very soul was being ripped in two. And it was. Keeping two different vows that contradicted each other would eventually kill him, as his Talent would force him to do both. The magic of his powers would lessen on the parties he had vowed with, breaking the magic on them and forcing that magic back on him. The only way out of that was for one of the parties of the vow released him from his promise. It wouldn’t matter if they broke the terms of their contract. They had to release him from the vow. Only then would the magic stop trying to kill him.

He couldn’t put himself in that situation again.

“Fine,” Jay said, looking away. “I’ll try to stay away from her.” It wasn’t quite the vow his father would be hoping for, because it wasn’t strong enough to engage his Talent, but it was the best Jay could do to satisfy his father and to keep his promise to Amy.

“Just try?” Ford asked, eyebrow raised.

“I’m her Sponsor,” Jay pointed out quietly. “Can’t always stay away.”

“True,” his father sighed. “Come on. Back inside. Tell one of your team to go after her. That’s what is expected.” Ford then snorted. Jay managed to sneak in a glare that his father didn’t see. There was nothing funny about this situation. “Quite unprofessional, your Racer Aims. Flying off after a race, especially one of this sort of… history with her. She should have at least stayed for interviews.”

It took all of Jay’s self control to not punch his father’s smug look and turning to run after Amy. However, he took several deep breaths, calming himself down, before he followed his father back into the Sponsor box, hating himself every step of the way.
*********
Jay’s dad has really surprised me as I’ve been writing this last NaNo. I want to hate him… He is a bad guy, but he’s also a father trying to protect his son. Ugh! I think he’s one of the most complicated characters I’ve ever written.

Anyway, next week you’ll meet Tyson. Still not sure what to do about him….

Enjoy the journey!